4 Steps to Maximizing School Conferences This Year

With conferences right around the corner, we find most parents are eager to connect with teachers, but sometimes, maximizing the short conference time is challenging. The scores shared are hard to interpret - plus they are really just one measure. How can parents make the most of conferences? 

Step 1: Plan a Child Conference

This is just between parents and kids privately to get their insights on their school experience this year. It’s intended to be a casual, quick 10-15-minute conversation. We don’t want to drill our kids; just get their perspective on school. I like to start with what’s annoying to them. This gives them a chance to vent. For many neurodivergent kids, school is something that is put up with at best. They don’t always love it, and I want to adequately allow them to express that.

Some of my favorite child conference questions include: 

1. What are some of the most annoying parts of school this year? 

2. Anything that is just ok - could be better / could be worse? 

3. Anything you’re finding that you really like? 

4. What do you want your teachers to know? 

5. What would make a class 20% better if it changed? (for younger kids, I sometimes put up my hands to show “this much” better).

Step 2: Review Accommodations, if Applicable

If your child has a 504 plan, learning plan, accommodation plan, or an IEP, etc. (they are sometimes called different things at different schools), I like to review the accommodations with kids before going to the conference. I ask them to read their accommodations and ask three key questions: 

1) Which of these are you receiving? 

2) Which are most helpful? 

3) Are there others that might be helpful for us to consider? 

It can be really tricky to ensure accommodations are happening in the classroom - especially as kids get older and have multiple teachers. Getting your child's perspective can help you plan important discussion points for the school conference and keep a pulse on this possible challenge.

Step 3: Plan Conference Questions

These days most conferences feel like a 15-minute whirlwind. It can be hard to figure out how to prioritize the time. Before you go, consider what is most important to you and your child. Is it grades? Friendships? School behaviors?

Then, plan your questions accordingly. In the conference, when the teacher is answering your question, ask yourself….What can I do with this information? Does it help me understand my child? Do I have a next step? If not, ask follow-up questions so that you get the information you need to better understand your child’s experience through the teacher’s eyes.

We suggest choosing 3-4 questions that align with the areas you have the most wonderings about. Here are some questions to choose from to help you maximize your time. 

1. Where do you see my child enjoying school?  

   • This will give you insight into your child’s strengths and interests in school. Sometimes conferences are so focused on growth opportunities that we forget to pause and celebrate our kiddos! 

2. How is my child performing academically compared to the bulk of students in your class? Are they in the middle, lower, way lower, higher, or way higher? 

   • A lot of times, teachers pull out standard scores and don’t explain or show the comparison to other kids in class. Asking for a general range can give you a sense of how your child is performing in comparison to their peers. 

   • Follow-up: If teachers only compare the child to themselves or respond that your child is performing in the lower percentage. Ask, “How far below grade level is my child? Are they 1.5-2 years below in any area? If so, what interventions are in place to help with this?”

3. How is my child doing socially and emotionally compared to their peers?

   • This can inform areas of strength and areas of opportunity. It might give you some ideas for ways to celebrate and support your child at home.

4. How are they doing with their organization? Is there anything that stands out as a strength or area of need compared to their peers?  

   • Asking about your child’s organization methods gives insight into their executive functioning skills. 

5. How is my child doing in class discussions and group work? What do you notice? 

   • This can give insight into how your child is doing socially when it comes to academic subjects. This is often challenging for kids.

6. What do you notice about my child’s habits in the classroom? For example, do they need to move around a lot? Do they remember the routines and expectations?

   • This can start a conversation about ways the teacher might be supporting your child’s needs or a way to collaborate around how to better support their needs. For example, could they benefit from a wobbly chair? Are there certain times that are best to move about the classroom? 

7. Where do you see my child excel or find joy? 

   • This can provide information on ways to celebrate your child, ways to inquire about the school day, and or a place you can extend support at home. You might also get insight into their friend groups and peer interactions. 

8. What skill would really help my child move forward in your class? 

   • Most parents walk away from conferences with many action steps. If that feels overwhelming for you or your child, this intentional open-ended question can give you direction on one area to prioritize support at home.  

9. How would you describe my child’s personality in your class? 

   • This question can help you gauge how well the teacher knows your child and their relationship with each other.

10. How do you see my child’s accommodations helping in your class? What questions do you have about their accommodation plan? 

    • This question is twofold: One, it gives you insight into how well the teacher knows and implements your child’s accommodations. Second, this provides you with information on if alternative accommodations would be better suited for your child. 

11. How can I support you in the work you’re doing? 

    • You are acknowledging the teacher’s hard work and sharing your desire to partner with them around your child’s needs. 

12. What should I know about the way you organize your class? For example; Where do you house content? How often are there tests, projects, etc.?  How frequently are grades updated? 

    • Every teacher has different organization methods and expectations. These questions can help you support your child’s development of organizational skills. 

Step 4: Consider sending a thank you note to the teachers

A thank you note can go a long way in building/maintaining teacher relationships.

Lastly, celebrate that you made it through conferences! For some, it can be really stressful. Many of our kids expect to hear negative feedback at conferences. Share with them the positives first. Then choose 1 or 2 areas to focus on with your child for the next couple of months. 
We’ll explore this more in an upcoming post if you’re interested.  If so, tell us your thoughts by emailing us at info@reachlearningservices.com.