Our Biggest Tips on Helping Teens Manage Stress & Anxiety
Managing stress and anxiety during any period of a person’s life can be a tricky endeavor, mostly because everyone responds to both so differently! When your child is moving from elementary school to middle school or from middle school to high school, it’s only natural for new sources of stress and anxiety to pop up along the way. It’s a transition period, after all. The first step to helping your child navigate these new feelings is to know what to look for.
Our learning professionals here at REACH Learning Services have a few tricks up our sleeves that are proven to help you and your child healthily manage stress and anxiety–whether they’re going through the big transition from elementary school to middle school, the shift from middle school to high school, or are simply undergoing stress in general.
Start a Conversation with Your Teen
Sometimes it’s as easy as starting a conversation. If you suspect your teen is struggling with anxiety, our REACH educators typically encourage parents to utilize subtle, probing questions to start. It’s better to keep things “low-key” to keep the pressure off! Taking a walk, going for a drive, or grabbing a quick bite to eat together are all great ways to get the conversation flowing.
Here are a few conversation starter examples:
“So, tell me how your first few weeks in high school have been. How have you been feeling?”
“Middle school has been a pretty big leap, huh? How are you feeling with all of your new teachers?”
When there’s a new behavior you’ve noticed (but you’re not sure what the root specific cause is) try to help out by putting a name on what it might be. “I noticed that you’ve been lashing out after school. Have you been feeling a little overwhelmed since transitioning to high school?” Simply taking the time to open up a dialogue about feelings can not only be a huge relief for your teen, but can also help them feel more comfortable coming to you for help in the future!
Be Transparent About Your Expectations
Some parents ask their kids to “just do your best.” While this is said with good intentions, it can easily come across as a bit overwhelming. Teens can take this to mean that they must give 100% effort in everything they do, all the time. Talk about pressure! Instead, our REACH tutors recommend that parents communicate what their expectations are as clearly and specifically as possible. For example, let’s say you’d like your teen to start being a little more responsible. What does “more responsible” look like? Mentioning instances such as making the bed in the morning or taking out the trash without a reminder are great ways to illustrate responsibility. Explaining, in concrete terms, what you’re looking for can help eliminate unnecessary worries that sprout from lack of clarity. Another example lies in how you praise your teen after they do something that you approve of, and you want to see more of. For example, “Thank you for emptying the dishwasher. That was so thoughtful of you and really saves me time!” Notice and be specific about how their actions positively impacted you.
Build Rituals & Routines at Home
Coming home to an organized home with regular rituals will give your child a sense of security. Packing lunches, devoting specific time for family activities, and having consistent wake-up and bedtimes are all good places to start. On the academic side of things, our REACH tutors find that it helps to create a specific space in the house where your teen can get their assignments done and store their school supplies. James Clear, the author of the bestselling book, “Atomic Habits” said it best: “Environment is the invisible hand that shapes human behavior”.
Pro Tip
An important part of building rituals and routines is ensuring that you aren’t relying on motivation alone to form healthy habits. Encourage your child to take chance out of the equation and plan out exactly what they want to do to see the change they want! Take the following study as an example:
A study in the British Journal of Health Psychology found that 91% people who planned their intention to exercise by writing down when and where they would exercise each week ended up following through. Meanwhile, people who read motivational material about exercise, but did not plan when and where they would exercise, showed no increase compared to the control group. (Graphic by James Clear.)
Kickstarting healthy habits and routines lies in making it as easy as possible for your teen, so make sure that they’re setting themselves up for success through careful planning. Helping them write down specific intentions for themselves, like:
“I will excuse myself from a situation and go on a quick 5-minute walk outside to cool off whenever I start to feel tense or angry” will help assist with anger management.
“I will get this [insert important assignment / task] done immediately after I get home from school every day” will help stop procrastination in its tracks.
Relaxing & Recharging is Essential
Stress and anxiety can easily build up like too much steam in a pressure cooker. An easy way to combat this is to ensure that there is reserved time in their schedule to relax, recharge, and let off some steam! Maybe your teen likes to jam out on the guitar in the garage or get lost in a book. Maybe they love dancing their hearts out or kicking around a soccer ball with their friends. Whatever they love to do, make sure they’re making time to do it!
Be Patient and Don’t Shy Away from Asking for Help
The key takeaway from all of this? Be patient with yourself and your teen! Transition periods are never easy, but when lines of communication are open, rituals and routines are in place, expectations are clear, and recharging is a part of everyone’s weekly schedules, things are bound to be a bit easier to navigate. However, when you find that you’re struggling with helping your teen manage these feelings, there are two things to remember: (1) Don’t beat yourself up. Everyone is different – there is no one tried and true formula to stress that always applies. (2) There are resources you can turn to for help. If your child needs academic and behavioral supports, Reach Learning Services is here to give you a hand.